My world: The Cherryblossom Garden

Im having a hard time. One of the hardest time of my life. At this moment, it seems to me that a friendship fades no matter what you do to try and keep it going. It hurts too when you really want to maintain the friendship, and it fades anyway. I wonder why does it happen? Is it because the other person has gotten bored with the friendship?

I am tired. Damn tired. Tired of saving friendships that I thought is important to me. Maybe it got tiring because im the only who thinks like that,huh?? Am i the only one who remember those good times we once shared-shopping, gossiping and eating out. Then thinking about how times would be when we parted ways and how we would still stay together as friends. What bullshit! The slogan ‘Friends Forever’ was probably invented because it was needed to remind friends that they needed to stay by each other forever, as it was easily forgotten.

I tried really hard to save friendships with friends who really matter to me. But i guess, the busy schedule, new interests, new friends or maybe new relationships is worth more than that piece of friendship after all. And its not because I didn’t try or bother, it’s probably because they don’t know how much they mean to me. And even if they don’t have the slightest clue about how much they mean to me, obviously I mean nothing to them, either. It goes both way. Slipping any friendship away would be easy if it didn’t mean anything at all. But when it means so much that you shared major aspects of your life with these special friends for years, slipping these friendships away is worse than breaking up a relationship.

But what are special friends when they cannot even meet up with you? Or say okay in the beginning and then in the last minute, SMS to say that they can’t make it. And don’t even have the decency to call to apologize or arrange for another meet-up? Perhaps, a simple ‘How are you’ message from these special friends (or we should regard ourselves to be) could make my day. But no. I hate to say that I have always been the one who often had the initiative to arrange for meet-ups. See, I dont have a problem with that - if only friends do eventually turn up, without cancelling on the last minute. And if it is always you giving me the same excuse on why you can’t make it, it’s time you come up with some new excuses or why not spell it out clearly, that you are not interested to meet up with me anymore..so that I can move on with my life without thinking about how I can save this friendship? If you share the same interest as me, I am sure the next time round you would suggest a meet up, but no…it rarely happens.

Because seriously, I have gone from getting pissed to being disappointed to being upset to almost giving up on friends. And it’s not easy at all. It’s not easy to just walk away on a friendship that is deterioting, because I want to do all I can to save it and turn it to where we once were - at our peakest, on our happiest. Because obviously, your friendship matter to me!

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 at 6:04 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.