20.07.2007
I got an sms from Peeps today. It says "Years come and go..but today is a special day 2007200. Double Match. It happens only once in a lifetime. So, i wish a very wonderful day".
Hmm..ironically,today seems like a damn stupid shit day for me. Nothing bad really happened. Just im in a horrible mood since last night. I cant think of a reason,though. I avoid talking to people (which is something i rarely do). Everything is god damn annoying. Playing with my tortoise didnt help. Suddenly it felt like they’re the most boring creature ever. They didnt react much. Hmm..just sitting on top of each other doing nothing. Not moving at all. Ohh and they do that a lot. Climbing on to each other and just stay there. Whats the purpose of that,seriously??
Yesterday, i talked to runiz about something i’ve been trying hard to keep to myself for so long. I dont know why it blurted out. It such a bad idea. But i guess, im lucky its Runiz. I prefer her than anybody else to listen to my stupid pathetic story. Feel like such a loser. Huuhh..
I pray to god everyday to keep me sane. Take away all the unhappiness and sadness. But i guess, its impossible to be that lucky huh?? No matter how hard i tried to suppress those feelings, somehow it’ll always find its way to be at the surface of my thoughts again. Maybe it got tools..genetically modified tools.
Hmm..I am trying this free thinking writing skill i learned from EAP mass lecture yesterday. Apparently you must write whatever thats on your mind. It must be continuous. Non stop. I thought i give it a shot. Turns out, i discover that underneath my smile and laughter there are more than one million tears waiting to come out. But it wont, i wont let it come out. Never. Why? because i have no solid reason to be sad. My problem is so tiny,it is not even certify to be call a ‘problem’. Its nothing to do with poverty, world hunger,wars, nothing involving drugs or pre-marital sex or whatever shit that is cerified enough to be called problems. Then, why am i so sad about it? Arghh..god damn it!!
By the way,im still trying this free writing skill. So bare with me. If u cant, just stop reading Ok??..enough with this feeling stuff lets get serious. Hmm..what should i write on my term paper? Any hot issues or stories??..How on earth should i know? i dont read newspapers. I dont know about wars or accidents or deaths or hurricanes or whatever happens out there. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Ok,its shallow but whatever. I’ll read it when im older, when my opinion matters to people. Right now,i choose not to bother. What difference does it make??
Hmm..what else? Cute guys..Err..nope..i have no interest in any cute guys right now. Next..Hmm..ok,there’s that thought about my small tiny problem again..So..i guess i should stop this free writing skill. Hmm..any particular format to stop? ii dont think i listen well in the lecture. I was busy passing notes with runiz. Maybe i should just stop. Ok. Done. Pheww..
Conclusion: My first attemp in free writing is a total failure. Stupid useless thoughts.
