My world: The Cherryblossom Garden

Hey ya..I was surfing the net as usual while waiting for Hallmark to air Taming of the shrew.I was downloading songs and stuff and came across a really cool blog.The design is very edgy and gothic.The author keep writing about being emotional,death,depression and all those things.Do u know that emo is actually a trend nowadays? Hahah..kinda funny. Well,stupid is the actual word.I think EMO is a stupid trend for kids who want attention.I love the music,though.Something like My chemical romance and Evenescence.For me,music is music.It was never a way of life or trends or what ever you may call it these days.Ermm..maybe thats why im not a musician huh?? Haha..I listen to a lot of music and it makes me feel good.Calm,happy and i admire their talents but never it affected me in a way that can bring harm.So what if the music is about death? that doesn’t mean it makes you slit your wrists.Take it as a positive thing.Yes,people die and horrible things happen.But thats just the way the world is and we can get through it.Stop makin it a ‘trend’ and keep hurting yourself and then blame it on the industry about how bad the influence is.Personally, i think those EMO kids ‘choose’ to be depressed.Bunch of whiny people who complain about their lives too much.They decided they need to fit in somewhere,some kind of identity.So why not dwell on everything that hurts and sulk about it..forever!!..

(Stop hating people,start loving)

PEACE

Hey,i woke up feeling blue today.Tomorrow we’re going back for raya.Didnt feel like studying although i really should.Doesnt matter,i’ll study later.I had the most beautiful dream last night.Feel weird because i remember every single details of it,i usually dont.Anyways, I was standing alone,somewhere not familiar. Its snowing with the streetlights glowing and its quite.So quite that you can hear the snow fall and its like a fairy world,magical.God..its the most beautiful sight i ever see.That last about 2 minutes(maybe) before my alarm woke me up.Hmm..maybe its a sign that i should get up tonight..Afterall,its ramadhan..who knows

Well thats not the point.I was saying im feeling blue,right?? Its because..i dont know,i know i shouldnt but i have this sudden urge to talk to a friend.A particular friend,which i cant somehow..because of so many reasons.A part of me really wants to make things ok between us but I dont think its ever possible.Its maybe because all this raya mood,i dont know.Oookay,i really need to feel better,get this one person out of my head.Hmm..lets think of something that makes me happy.I want to think of something small and simple that i have easy access to..Oh this is great! I’ve been feeling so down, and hopeless. So this is good therapy for me.Ok..lets..

1) I feel happy when someone on my friendlist talks to me on instant messaging.

2) I feel happy when there’s a letter in the mailbox for me. I mean emails. People dont really send snail mail nowadays,kan?

3) I feel happy when a friend calls me up, out of the blue wanting to do something with me.

4) I feel happy when someone engages in a conversation with me.

5) I feel happy when the new issue of CLEO comes out.

6) I feel happy when I get support, and someone understands me.

7) I feel happy when a great song that I like comes on the radio or tv, and I feel like singing or dancing to it.

I feel happy when I make my own decisions.

9) I feel happy when I take a break from my normal routine of things, be spontaneous. Like when, Tem and I cut evening class to go to JJ or Putrajaya or something like that.Hahaa..Shouldnt but i do feel happy everytime i do that..

10) I feel happy when my cat talks to me, and wants to be fed…Hahah

11) I love it when it rains, and when it is misting and when it’s foggy. Thunderstorms!!!!

12) Old, cheesy, movies I’ve seen a million times, ooohh..FRIENDS..i love it so much.

13) Finding forgotten money in clothes everytime i do my laundry

Cant think of anything else.I bet there’s more.Ok,maybe thats working.Its impossible for me to shop like Paris Hilton but hey,i still have this lil things that make me happy,huh?? hmm..ok..ok..am i still thinking about it?? nope..no way. Well,maybe a little..Hmm..YES..SHIT!!

Thinking sucks!!..wutver.Im outta here.

I went for raya shopping today. God..leg cramps!. What was i thinking? heels while shopping. Suprisingly, I didnt buy anything except for a pink baju kurung which Intan forced me to buy. I love shopping but i hate crowded places and there’s so many people there. Instead of shopping for shoes,hand bags and more clothes i just went to the supermarket and bought myself some sushies. Haha. Much better. While at the supermarket,i saw a guy, Australian most probably (because of his accent). He looks so familiar but i have no idea who. Then,it hit me!…Oh my god. He looks exactly like Carson Kressly. That guy in Queer Eye for straight Guys. He wears a pink shirt. Which again reminds me of Carson. Apparently,pink is not for girls anymore. A lot of guy wears pink, which i dont prefer but whatever. People used to say, it takes a real man to pull off a pink  outfit. Not anymore. Its like, everywhere..

Then,i continued my clothes hunting. Only this time,the mood is back. But Im not looking for baju raya. Hmm..i need something for my Pangkor Expedition. I cant wait to got there. Sun,Sea,Friends,Holiday=Perfect! I found this cute shirt which i love..Yea! Mission accomplished. I got my sushi and this cute lil t-shirt i’ll wear at the beach. Good,im heading home. Seriously need to get out of this heels. Ouchh..

Oh by the way, i dont buy anything for Raya. That baju kurung i bought is too simple,maybe i just wear it to class or something. Hmm..For raya, i’ll just wear that green dress i bought last month. Ohh thats nice,i even have a pair of shoes that match. So,why did i go shopping today? Haha..so not necessary.

Gosh..They banned Friendster in UIA!. So, i created a new blog. My new air hole,where i can actually breath. Where i can have some space to crash all my thoughts,happiness and anger. Dont get me wrong. I have friends but sometimes its better to take it out here. Let words do the talking. Its ok. I like Changes. Changes is challenge and challenge is always good. Aight?

Anyways,its been a hectic week. Ramadhan comes and almost go. Only one week left. I remember being small and cant wait for Ramadhan to end so I can celebrate raya,get a lot of money,play bunga api in front of our house and stuff like that. But growing up,i realise its more than that. Much more. Ironically,now im sad when Ramadhan is about to end. Could i live to see another Ramadhan? Dont lose the chance,Never!

Everything is good now and Im concentrating with my studies. I really wanna make a difference this semester. Ok,maybe a lil late. Final is right after raya but heyy..i can still make it. I work well under pressure. Haha..Looking back,Im far away from where i plan to be. Actually, im very close to where i started. But who cares,everybody has to start somewhere and i feel that its my time to shine. Its not that i dont like myself,its just i can be so much more than this and i know it. I’ll write some more later. Now i gotta study. Pray for me. Im ready to FLY…