Its been a while since i last blog. Busy with classes, exams and everything. Class sucks! Its not that i dont concentrate in class, because trust me, i do. I just simply didnt understand. Linear Algebra and Organic Chemistry classes used to be fun but after mid term exam, i have no idea whats going on..sigh!
I have a lot of things going on. So many, that i cant seem to keep up. I wish i can be in another place where nobody knows me. Just for a while, until i figure out what i want. I do not know how people see me before. They keep asking me, "Aisha, is everything ok?". "Pesal asyik sedih je?"..etc la. Sedih? i dont think im sad, but maybe i’m not as happy as before. when people see me as normal, (when i’m not 24-hours laughing out loud or cracking stupid jokes) they’ll think i’m sad. Hmm…, its hard because people around you have expectations. Sometimes, i just go along and pretend to be happy, just because i dont want people to ask questions. I know they did that because they care but reality speaking, i dont even know whats going on, so until i figure out whats all this stupid mess inside my brain, i’ll appreciate it if people back off a little bit. If i need any help, i’ll ask. ok??
Come to think about it, maybe i’m not sad at all. There were some time ago when i was happy because everything went so great and maybe when my life go back to being normal,i bump out. Logic?? probably..hmm..its ok. I’m glad when im going through all this, i have my friends with me no matter what.
Whatever it is,i wish it’ll go away. Im torn enough,crushed enough,burned enough. Life sucks and i cant seem to fix it no matter how i try. I still have hopes though,a girl can always hope (kan una?..hehe). I dont want a fairy tale life,i just want my life back!! A life that i once took for granted..
God listens right? Maybe i can get some answers from Him.
